


Pine Needle Cocktails

by ciphersnazzy



Series: Alcoholic Pine Trees [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Bartender AU, Bill is so flirty, Dipper is just trying to read, F/F, Like this story, M/M, The AU no one asked for, and short, and stop drinking Mabel, bill is a bartender, only a short story before I make a bigger plot for this au, stop flirting bill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-04-09 16:51:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4356896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ciphersnazzy/pseuds/ciphersnazzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being a nerdy, socially awkward, and single 26 year old doesn't grant Dipper any favours. Especially when his sister decides to drag him to the new bar that has just opened up.</p><p>And it doesn't seem to get any better for Dipper when a certain bartender starts to flirt with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pine Needle Cocktails

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the bartender au that no one asked for but somehow gained popularity on my tumblr (which is ciphersnazzles- I don't know how to add links :P). I will create a bigger plot for this au soon, but as a taster, have this one-shot  
> (Please excuse my shitty writing ;-;)

A young adult sat upon a bar stool, straining his eyes at the jumble of words on the aged paper, attempting to read them in a way he could understand. However, with the music louder than his sister high on Smile Dip and the stench of alcohol, reading was proving to be quite a difficult task. He groaned as the music echoed through his skull, and the strong mist of alcohol in the air clung to the air, muddling his thoughts.

With a sigh, he closed his book and ran a hand through his brown curls. He scanned the dark, yet somehow brightly lit up room, searching for his sister and her girlfriend.

When he saw the two dancing like there was no tomorrow on the far side of the bar, he took a sip of his drink.

Honestly, he didn't want to come out. Mabel had dragged him out as apparently he was 'antisocial'. Dipper snorted, downing the rest of his drink.

He wasn't ' _antisocial'_ , he just didn't like being around people. And right now, it was absolute hell. The bar (named Mirror/rorriM, a.k.a, Mirror Mirror) was recently opened, and was located on the outskirts of the small town of Gravity Falls. And the bar surely lived up to its name. Mirrors adorned the walls, windows, floor even the tables. It gave Dipper a headache even from a distance, but his dear sister wanted to try it out and had forced Dipper out of the shack to ' _talk to real humans_ ', because apparently these obnoxious, intoxicated and bumbling idiots were _real humans_.

 

The young man lifted the glass to lips once more, before realising it was completely empty. With a groan, and the feeling of an emptier wallet due to the ridiculously high prices that Stanley would be proud of, Dipper put the glass back down.

However, the sound of glass clinking against a surface brought Dipper's attention to the bar. A man with curly, blonde hair that glimmered gold in the bright lighting stood on the other side of the bar in a black waistcoat, white dress shirt, black slacks and a neat yellow tie to top it off. He had sun kissed skin that seemed to glow, piercing blue eyes and a grin that could rival the Cheshire Cat's.

He leaned on the bar top- his sleeves rolled up- his head in his hand as he gently pushed the glass towards Dipper.

 

"On the house." He smiled. Dipper eyed the glass and the suspiciously grinning man who can't have been any older than 22, younger than himself.

"I know what you're thinking, it's not drugged or anything. I'm just feeling nice."

"I didn't say it was. Why would you just say that?" Dipper glared at the man as he chuckled, seriously starting to consider that this stranger had drugged his drink.

"Oh. No particular reason." He laughed- cackled more like, Dipper thought- as a smirk grew on the man's face.

"No, no. It's against bar regulations to drug customers."

"So, you work here?" Dipper questioned, picking up the glass containing a cocktail. It was a strange beverage. Bitter, but not too bitter, with an earthy taste that reminded him of the forest. Dipper had already drunk three of these with little to no affect on him.

"Well, I'm certainly not behind here to steal a couple bottles of vodka." The man joked. Dipper rolled his eyes, hoping that he wouldn't be stuck with this guy all night.

He began sipping at the drink, avoiding eye contact with the bartender, who's smirk had turned very devilish.

"Wow, kid. You sure are the hot ass in my shot glass." He stated, grinning proudly. Immediately, Dipper had spat out his drink. The liquid spraying in front of him as he coughed harshly. Putting the glass down, Dipper turned to the bartender with glare, his cheeks lit up red, who couldn't seem to keep his laughter down.

"Ohmygod, kid! Ahhaha! You should have seen the look on your face!!" The blonde cackled with laughter, standing back and doubled over as laughed.

Dipper scowled the man, before sighing, pinching the bridge of his nose. It really was going to be a long night.

"God, that was hilarious!" His laughter began to settle, returning to leaning on the counter, his arms crossed.

"Yeah, yeah, so funny." Dipper said sarcastically, feeling the burn of the alcohol in his throat from his frantic coughing.

"Geez, you're such a jerk." He muttered, turning away.

"You know I wasn't actually kidding." The bartender stated.

"I mean, I'd tap that, Pine Tree."

The blush on Dipper's cheeks never ceased, as he awkwardly looked away, avoiding all eye contact with the man.

"Wait, Pine Tree?" He questioned.

"Yeah, cute nickname, right? Those cocktails you've been ordering, they're called Pine Trees. And you seem to like them a lot." He explained, quickly bringing a menu over, and pointing at one of the many cocktails and alcoholic beverages on the lamented sheet. "So, Pine Tree, what brings you to Mirror Mirror? You don't seem like a social person. Introvert, right?"

"You're right. I don't like these types of places, no offence. I prefer reading at home or the library." Dipper tapped his closed book to prove his point.

"Ha, lil Pine Tree the bookworm." The blonde commented, earning a glare from Dipper.

"Anyway, my sister brought here. She wanted to try this place out, not me."

"Sister, huh?" The bartender purred, beginning to look around the bar. Dipper caught onto his act, and began frantically shaking his head and scowling at the man.

"Woah, woah! No! Nope! No way! She's already taken." Dipper grumbled, as the bartender stood up straight and began stretching his back.

"Just kidding, Pine Tree. Besides, she wouldn't be my type anyway. Not really into that gender." He glanced back to Dipper with a flirtatious smirk and wink. Dipper's blush returned instantly, and he picked up his drink once more.

"Do you always hit on your customers?" Dipper asked, sipping his drink.

"Only the cute ones." He purred once more. "The name's William. But friends just call me Bill." Bill tapped his name tag that was clipped on the breast pocket of his waistcoat. A woman quickly came over to the counter, asking Bill for a certain cocktail, telling him that she'll be right back after going to the bathroom.

"My actual name is, well, nickname really, is Dipper." The brunet said as soon as she left, watching as Bill's expression of concentration on making the alcohol drink, twisted into one of confusion.

"Dipper? As in," Dipper braced himself for the onslaught of slander that he usually got. Chip Dip, Dipshit, Dipping-Sauce, Dipdop, the list goes on. He didn't mind his sister saying them, but others always used them harshly. Always dripping with venom and laced with sarcasm.

"The little dipper?" Bill continued, making Dipper turn sharply towards him, almost falling off the barstool in surprise.

"Excuse me?"

"As in the constellation? The big dipper or the little dipper. Aww, Pine Tree, that's adorable! Named after the stars!!" Bill cooed, genuinely smiling, as he shook the cocktail mixer.

"I'm still going to call you Pine Tree, Pine Tree." He smiled, pouring a pink liquid into a tall thin glass of ice.

"Great. Thanks, Bill." He said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Bill chuckled, picking up Dipper's empty glass.

"God, Pine Tree. You sure love Pine Trees!" He snorted with laughter again, placing the glass away, making the 26 year old grumble in annoyance.

A high pitched squeal stopped Bill's obnoxious laughter as a young woman with flowing brown hair, and in a pink dress that was frilled layers from the waist down, skipped over, embraced Dipper into a hug.

"Diiippppppeeerrr!! Oh my awesome baby brobro!!" She sang, madly giggling and rubbing her face into his neck. Dipper chuckled as a girl with platinum blonde hair gently pulled her away with a grin.

"Come here, baby girl. You're drunk." Pacifica hugged Mabel, who was still giggling and was trying to jump up and down.

"Let's go, Dipper. As soon as she gets home, she'll fall asleep. And sleep is what she's gonna need with the amount she's drunk."

Dipper nodded, hopping off his seat as he began following the two girl's out of the bar, glancing back at Bill who was taking orders from a group of women, who all seemed to be flirting with him. Typical.

Dipper breathed in deeply as soon as he stepped outside, glad to in the fresh air again. Slowly walking over to Pacifica's car, the music growing faint and less brash, he was stopped by someone yelling out his newly obtained nickname.

"Pine Tree!!" Bill shouted as he ran up to Dipper. The brunet stared, confused as to why the blonde had chased after him. And now, as Bill stood in front of him, had he noticed how short the bartender actually was. He had to stifle his own laughter as Bill only went up to his eyes. It must have been because he was sitting on a stool that Dipper thought Bill was taller than himself. He snorted at the irony that Bill called Dipper ' _lil Pine Tree_ '.

Coming back to reality, and out of his thoughts as Bill lifted up a book, Dipper blinked.

"You left your book in the bar. You should be more careful next time, Pine Tree. The others would have just thrown it away. Count yourself lucky you met me." Bill handed over the book, one hand placed on his hips, his grin never fading. Dipper stared at the book, then at the blonde in front of him, who still seemed to have an almost celestial glow around him despite it being the dead of night.

"Hey, kid. Book." Bill waved the book in Dipper's face, making the brown haired adult grab it.

"Yeah, yeah. And stop calling me kid. I'm sure I'm older than you."

Bill scoffed as he began to walk away, back towards the bar, waving at Dipper.

"See ya next time, Pine Tree!!" He yelled out happily, just as he walked inside.

"It's Dipper! Not Pine Tree!!" Dipper barked back, grumbling as he walked over to Pacifica's car. As he hopped in, strapping himself in, Pacifica gave him a small smirk.

 

"Wouldn’t have taken you as a guy who made guys run to him." She teased, before giggling at the loud snoring and meowing of her lover in the back seat.

Dipper rolled his eyes, and leaned his head against the window, watching as the bar grew distant.

Well, tonight was certainly different.

* * *

 

Dipper sighed in relief as he settled in his bed. Wearing a clean shirt and shorts, his table lamp beside him dim, but still bright enough for him to read.

They had gotten in pretty late, with Pacifica staying over in the end as Mabel refused to let go of her. Holding the heiress in one of her famous Mabel hugs. The two had fallen straight asleep, exhausted from dancing and drinking. Dipper chuckled, those two would definitely be feeling it tomorrow morning, especially Mabel.

His gaze turned back to his book, opening it to the bookmarked page. However, as the book opened, a small white card fell out. With his curiosity peaked, Dipper picked up the card. It was a Mirror Mirror business card, with an address and business number. The words actually reflective, representing the 'mirror' part once more. Flipping it over, he read the back. In the most elegant handwriting he had even seen, were the words ' _Call me, Pine Tree_ ' and set of numbers underneath. Dipper blushed furiously at the card, before rolling his eyes and grumbling.

Instead of throwing the card away, however, like he usually would when he got numbers from strangers, he placed it on his bedside table next to his phone.

 **  
** He was definitely going back to that bar soon.


End file.
